Intrusive thoughts are a frequent complaint. They are often quite frightening patients especially since they seem to persist in conscious awareness even when we try to drive them out. Some thoughts involve horrible images of doing harm to others, especially those that we love. At other times, we may “see” ourselves doing things that go against our moral code.

So in order to help my patients manage these thoughts and get some measure of peace of mind, I offer them the following psychoeducation:

1) They are not alone! Almost everyone from time to time experiences such frightening and bothersome thoughts (including this writer). The fact that so many of us have such experiences yet DON’T act on them means that such thoughts do not lead to action.

2) Thinking something doesn’t mean you’ll do it. Think of all of the errands and tasks that you’ve thought of doing. I know that I’ve been saying that I’ll wash our car or clean out the refrigerator for three weeks. In fact, every time I open the fridge or get in the car, I say to myself, “gee, it’s really gross in here”. Yet, with all of my thinking, the car and the refrigerator are still a mess. Tachlis conclusion:

THOUGHTS DON’T EQUAL ACTION

3) Trying to stop them makes them worse. Fighting with your thoughts is usually pretty hopeless. The more that you try, the more they seem to dig in and get even worse. And that’s when the problem just gets worse because now you’re exhausted from this hopeless fight AND you’re demoralized from having failed.

So what then is your best position? I like to think of a train that is roaring by me as I stand on the side of the tracks. As you may know, a train, especially one that is really moving, can be frighteningly loud. Trying to stop that train won’t work. Putting my fingers in my ears also won’t work. The only thing that works is to simply let the train roar on through and to stay out of the way. The same is true of frightening thoughts; let them pass and stay out of their way. Eventually they will pass; it may take a minute or an hour or a month. They will however eventually stop.

4) You are not your thoughts. You are also not your mind. Just because you have crazy, violent, weird thoughts doesn’t mean that you are crazy, violent, or weird. What are you? For starters, you are the sum total of ALL of your ACTIONS. To paraphrase Forrest Gump, Crazy, weird, and violent is as crazy, weird, violent does; not as it thinks. (If it indeed were true that we are what we think that I would have lost thousands of pounds and also punched out about a million of my fellow motorists.)

5) Keep some band-aids handy. While intrusive thoughts can be valuable helpers for self knowledge, it is best to leave exploring them for times when you are less stressed. In the meantime, it is good to have some quick tricks on hand for those times when they really bother you. Here are some of my favorite tricks:
a) Speak a mantra aloud for ten minutes. I set a timer on my watch or kitchen stove and then say something over and over and over again for those ten minutes. It can be any phrase provided that it is something that has some meaning to me. Here are some that I recall:
Thank you
Any curse word
A phrase from Tanach or pirkay avos
A number or list that I want to remember (Examples would be credit card numbers, birth dates, names of presidents, names of capitals of the 50 states).

When time is up, I give myself a big yasher koach (kudos) for doing something to bring light into the wacky darkness of my mind. It’s also refreshing to realize that I am ten minutes that much closer to actually feeling better.

b) Taking a nap even if I don’t actually fall asleep.

c) Listening to music on my MP3 player.

d) Listening to guided imagery on my MP3 or computer.

e) Lying down on the floor and looking up at the ceiling.

f) Using drugs. Not illegal drugs of course! There are many, many effective calming remedies out there that really help. Some may be purchased in a reputable health food store in the form of a homeopathic remedy. Others need a doctor’s prescription.

g) Vigorous physical activity that gets me occupied with my body instead of my head.

h) Prayer. Whether it is reciting Tehillim (Psalms) or writing a letter to God, it’s really nice to ask for help. Sometimes, I use a very simple prayer that I came across years ago while reading Reader’s Digest:
May I be free from fear
May I be free from suffering
May I be happy
May I be filled with lovingkindness

i) Read uplifting poems and inspirational literature. Here is one of my very favorites. This poem, written by Sybil Partridge, has gotten me through life since I first read it in the worst days of a crippling depression.

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes what Abraham Lincoln said is true: 'Most folks are about as happy as they make their mind up to be.'

Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is; not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come and fit myself to them.


Just for today I will take care of my body. I will exercise it, care for it, nourish it, not abuse or neglect it, so that it will be a perfect machine for my bidding.


Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought, and concentration.


Just for today I will exercise my soul in two ways: I will do someone a good turn and not get found out. I will do at least two chores I don't want to do, as William James suggests, just for exercise.


Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, speak diplomatically, act courteously, be liberal with praise, criticize not at all, nor find fault with anything, and not try to regulate or improve anyone.


Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do things for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep them up for a lifetime.


Just for today I will have a program. I will write down what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. It will eliminate two pests: hurrying and indecision.


Just for today I will have a quiet half hour by myself and relax. In this half hour sometimes I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective into my life.


Just for today I will be unafraid. Particularly, I will be unafraid to be happy; to enjoy what is beautiful; to love; and to believe that those I love, love me.


These ideas have helped many people. Try them out for size and see what you get. If you’ve got some other tricks please add them!